I woke-up with an urge for trouble. A small chance to be rebellious.
just a taste.
one small indulgence of regret.
I got up.
Quietly, of course. I crept to my dresser and got out a sweatshirt, my iPod, and my cellular. I then, opened, went in, and shut my closet door, jumped on my shelf, and pried open my window. Then, i positioned mysef in the frame when i realized i left something important. . . my shoes.
With a sigh, i got back on the ground and grabbed my shoes while repositioning myself for take-off.
With a sense of mixed emotions.
Butterflies. Stress. Regret. Everything.
i jumped.
- with a relief. . . .no sound.
Now bursting with adrenaline, from my great escape, i put on my sweatshirt, shoes, and earphones. . . .
summoned a deep breath-
cleared my head.
and released with a bolt of lightning.
I ran, just the sidewalk & me.
Pounding the pavement, step-by-step, recollecting memories, forgiving and forgetting, crashing myself down and building me back up.
this was just me now.
my life. everything in it depended on God, my ambition, my trust, and me.
Finally, i ran to the park, sat on a bench, and released.
Sitting there, i let down my guard.
i was myself. I awakened my soul. No one to please. No one to impress.
me. and only me.
i sobbed, cried, wailed, even.
In a sea of people, i felt alone, different, weak. and
with a snap,
it changed.
i
changed.
I found myself. . . on a park bench, at 2:48 in the morning.
I found me.
Under my fake exterior
Under my false words
Under my forced provocative sense of style, mind, life.
forced. pressure. media. school.
life.



change. (i needed it, i did it)