Howdy friends.
Random quote:
" stop trying to make friends, and enjoy the one's you have. "
Actually, i think i switched that up a little...and i really don't know who said that. oops.
Anyways, though not many people realize it, i am not a very outgoing person. I am not very confident. And i have a pretty low self-esteem. But I'll still stand up for what i believe in, though i lack these qualities. (and believe me, I'm working on building them up!)
But going back to the outgoing thing. Some people think i have tons of friends. * i know, because they've told me this * or they think I'm really like talkative & outgoing, but that's just when I'm around them, so they don't know any different. But really....i don't have very many "friends." Just acquaintances. Distant & close. I mean, i try to make friends, i really do! i just, lack that quality that makes people want to always hang out with me, or that interests them. This isn't a pity party. Because in reality...I'm okay with being my quiet, shy self. I really am...
♥.

When i first met her, i (of course) asked her for her autograph, because it isn't everyday that you meet the World's Tallest Woman...and one thing that was quite funny about her autograph, was that i got it on a picture of her that had God's hands and then her (standing up) kind of on/in between them...and in big bold letters it said,"IN THE BEGINNING, GOD CREATED THE EARTH....AND THEN THERE WAS SANDY." i still have it =) But later i realized i was shown that nobody is ever out of place, and that you should always feel comfortable in your own skin. She was truly an inspiration to me let alone to people across the world, not because of her height but because of her courage, humor, love for people & life, and because of her ability to see the good in all.
I know we all will miss you.
(so here's to you)
Sandy Allen.

JUST A REMINDER:
I know you (fans) adore my blog.. *JK* and are constantly requesting for a blog to solve your constant Poseur hunger. But because this is a (semi-) important year for me with 2 HS classes/credits to achieve/succeed in. I may not have lots of time to spend here in front of this wonderful, technologically enriched computer like I did in the summer. Plus, I'm not a constant party-goer, or busy-body, and I'm working on the whole "get-a-life" thing and actually trying to achieve a "life." Therefore i am a pretty boring person. So don't expect too much. I will try and try and try (and try) my absolute hardest to write as many blogs as possible on here and Poseur Fan Site, as quick & daily as i can.
Bear with me.
It's only about 9 1/2 more months of school! {that didn't help.}
off to the nook!
♥.

I know!
okayy; maybe you weren't thinking the same thing i was..but I'm super duper psyched because i now have two blogs! One of the original Poseur *obvi* and one for the people who continue to be hooked to Poseur but also want to incorporate some...*introducing drum roll* POSEUR FAN SITE (!)
Yepperoo! that's correcto-mundo! A fan site dedicated to all you dedicated fans of Poseur.
(by the way: i definitely need to get an estimate of just how many fans i have. Hello! PUSH THE COMMENT BUTTON PLEASE: and NO ANONYMOUS. because i want to know who you are too bad...so don't be cruel.)
So check out that {don't expect too much yet because i just made it, and went through the long process *lol* so there's only an introduction blog. But it's a pretty friggin' awesome one!}

p.s i ♥ fans
*feel special*

Um..so the first day went pretty smoothly. I didn't trip (!) fall (!!) get lost (!!!) or rip/lose/spill anything (!!!!)
thanks for the prayer =)
Actually, i made a new friend *see above smiley*
Mr. Capt. Kirk.
(I'm not kidding, people really do call him that except minus the Mr. lol )
He's freaking HILARIOUS. He's one of my lunch table buddies, ITE (or Shop Class?) Buddies, he's just my buddy =p
Moving on.
We're starting to get on with Algebra 1, U.S History, Language, Mechanical Drawing, Gym (ugh!), Band (...), and finally, BIOLOGY 1 *which I'm actually pretty psyched about!*
yay for Greek & Latin root words.
!!!
No-Name & I talk. At least enough... um, I'm still single.
*woo?*
School's pretty tiring actually. And yep that's about it.
sorry this was boring!
next time I'll put more ♥ + sOuL into it.
peace.
♥.

Well, my life has officially become a soap opera. At least in the friendship/school/church- ish department.
FRIENDSHIP:
I haven't talked to my no-name friend in FOREVER. and even though i have no clue how to get ahold of her, (though I've made an attempt too!) and she obviously hasn't tried with me. I'm the one who frequently gets asked.."well you should talk to her, don't you think she needs a friend?" or "Have you talked to her yet?" etc.
No, i haven't talked to her. Not because i haven't wanted to, because believe me, i wish everything was back to how it used to be, but because if she wanted to get ahold of me, she would try her hardest to find some way to contact me. no matter what might have happened between us and everything...
also. (NEW SUBJECT)
do i want to risk losing a friendship over a guy that has potential break-up written all over it? or would i rather let it die eventually, but keep the one with the guy? and risk me ending up alone..while they magically get back together (?!)
you know, she bugs me & doesn't talk to me because there might be some interest between him & i, or if i went out with him she would stop being my friend. but you know what? she never asked me if it was alright to date him after we broke up. *sighs* drama.
SCHOOL:
i don't have any close friends. well, one...(that's in my grade) but we haven't talked all summer. so i guess that's not that close of a friendship. but aside from that bit...my only close(ish) friends I'd say i have: 2 in HS. and 1 and hour and a half away. if he even counts anymore...everything has turned awkward between us!
*sighs again* drama. drama.
CHURCH:
How are you supposed to go to church when- never mind. I'm not even going to get into that subject.
I'm just going to suck it up. Hold it in. And fight through the awkward(ish)ness of it all.
*continues the sigh* drama. drama. drama.
So this post is dedicated to one special soap opera.
my life (!)
♥.

Well it's come again.
One of the most: exhilarating. dreaded. exciting. butterfly-prone days ever.
~THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL~
The thing is, I'm usually wayy more nervous than I am..maybe it just hasn't hit me yet, or possibly I'm more overcome with sadness for being left behind at the middle school or something.
Anyways-
Tomorrow I (hopefully) will hold my head high, while rockin' a killer outfit, will parade through those halls with confidence, cool, and intelligence radiating off of me.
HA.
yeah right. Most likely something will be spilt or knocked onto my outfit/or i can't find some major piece. I'll run into the door or something. I'll rip or drop something trying to get my (bottom *gripes*) locker open. AND I'll trip down the hallway and get lost on my way to class.
Yep. sounds about right.
but- I'll keep you all informed, if you happen to care, on how my day actually goes.
((please pray i don't injure myself!))
♥.

Today was my little sister's 9th birthday...
*woo!*
She had balloons, party favors, a movie, movie snacks...and my mom & i were their "waitresses" lol did i mention tons of gifts?
yepperoo-
but the best thing that happened today (?)
She came up to me, gave me a big hug, and said,"you made this the best birthday ever (!)"
This month's goal:
- give more than you take
=)=)=)=)(=(=(=(=
well, peace (gtg chill with the B-Day girl)
♥.

Uh...I've done basically nothing this week *hence, the Ultimate Housewife post* but today...i finally got out of the house
*yay!*
I went to Cholula's (yumm!) =)
And then I hung out with my "twin". ((we're actually 15 (!) years apart))
& watched The Breakfast Club, which I am now in love with the character "John Bender", it is a fabulous movie (!) and we ordered pizza, watched Tuck Everlasting (and did i mention I'm also in love with Jesse Tuck??!) and loaded ourselves with too much pizza, coca-cola, and CANDY BARS.
pretty great day.
oh, and we uploaded a million + 1, pictures of ourselves that we took on her Mac.
Thank You God (!)
this day was utterly amazazing.
off to the nook.
[bedtime.]
♥.

I cook, I clean, I've become the ultimate housewife these past few days.
^ which i know they do wayy more than that
Staying at home all day isn't as fun when you don't have certain people* calling you.
And It's definitely not fun when siblings eliminate the computer and television from your electronic diet.
sheesh.
I've started boring myself (!)
- the only good from this?
I've gotten my passion for sewing back, and oh how i love it =)
peace.
♥

Lately, with all the things that have happened to me... I've decided to just simply. GO.
Think ahead, plan it out, keep myself busy, all while simply; going.
Up until this point, I've always kind of been a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. And thus far, my life has proven: it doesn't work for me.
SO, I've decided to get up of my duff *figuratively speaking* dust myself off, and plan out what I want to get done in the next 5 years of my life; (my language teacher would be proud!)
of course keeping in mind that things will change if God wants them to. And this will be called my "Goal-Binder" *real catchy name, huh.*
Jam-packed with Information, Goals, Check-lists, How-to's, etc..
Some people might think I'm crazy or something, but doing this gives me something to look forward to, to work for, to make happen.
And I plan on doing just that (!) Making. It. Happen
peace.

i think it's Lola.
johnny, correct me if I'm wrong.
You're chihuahua (?)
is Lola? yes?
=)
it's kinda funny because when i get bored, home alone, with my dog, Teddy. . .
i sometimes go into deep conversations with him. But that's beside the point.
ANYWAYS.
Johnny, I told Teddy, that someday him & Lola, would meet, fall in love, and have really cute puppies together. Now, there's a really slim chance that will ever happen.
But Teddy doesn't know that....and i feel bad, because i think i kinda got his hopes up.
Jeez..I'm a horrible dog owner.

yay! I've written 40 posts =)
i still need to advertise a little..BUT lol
jk.
no but that would be really cool.
Okay, currently my life is very confuzzling, but I'm trying to make it a little better.
No-Name, and I, have not talked (talked talked) yet, but I'm still awaiting that.
School is fast approaching, and i am totally not prepared, though i have promised *myself* to try my absolute hardest in every subject and attempt straight A's.
((we'll see if that actually happens))
hopefully it will. *crosses fingers*
my "make-out buddy - the make-out" < if that's what we "officially" are now, and i are still practically best friends..though i think he's not telling me everything. (!)
crikes.
but sometimes i feel so weird!
*shut up Roxie. lol*
sometimes i just get so deep into my thoughts, that i start questioning my motives, my friends, my family, my life, i start questioning me! and i hate it when i get like that because it makes me really messed up, then i start screwing up everything in my life. *sighs*
maybe I'm just an extremely mental person, and i endanger myself. so put me in a straight-jacket, and haul me to a white- padded-wall room
i need it.
♥.

This summer, i've learned, er, read a quote that is probably the most honest-to-blog, smartest, and most true words EVER!
the quote: "Growing up has nothing to do with Age."
Amen (!)-
to whoever said/typed/wrote that.
major kudos (?)

A close friend and i have been going through some rough times lately- this friend will remain anonymous; until further notice.
But i still really love this friend. & even though i say that i want nothing to do with them, i will always be there for them.
though i say i can't stand being around them anymore, i really wish that we were as close as ever.
though i think that they make the most stupid decisions in the history of stupid decisions, i still think that they are wayy smarter than me.
and though i say i hate them, i really love them more than i could ever say.
so, if i lose this friendship, i'm done for. i may say that it'll be better without them but deep down i know (i'm nothing without them.)
and of course, i'll never admit to this blog- so don't try.
NO-NAME?!
i miss you. ------------------- the OLD you.
i hate new & improved, 'cause really? it's one of those horrible sequels to a great movie where they don't have the same actors and it sucks.
don't be that crappy sequel.
v_v

My Boyfriend (ahem. mr. wells) already knows basically everything i'm going to say in this one particular blog already [oh, how i love long talks on the phone.]
so- some might be wondering, though there are very few that actually read my blogs, what in the galaxy "Dear Johnny...*yes, the sequel* is."
Well first, last year at camp, i got a boyfriend *shocking, i know* and since it was quite long distance i swore (well if i swore i would've sworn..) to myself to keep a journal/diary/memoir/love note- type dealio that i would give to this boyfriend *coughjohnnycough* the next time i saw him. And you can even ask him, i wrote tons of random things, mushy crap, and just things i am now like "why in the galaxy did i ever write that?!"- but just like i 'swore' i gave it to him.
In it though, i wrote a lot of my feelings, thoughts, and other things that went through my mind and it helped me quite a bit.
So this whole entire "poseur." blog is technically the loverly sequel to the first..Dear Johnny.
i should get these published.
or change the blog name...=)
naa.
♥.